From the previous lectures, the question that kept arising in my mind was, how is it possible to live in this world without all these relationships. In fact that is how Swamiji starts his next lecture. He says, that it is impossible to live in this world without relationships with the people around you. These relationships are not necessary to sustain life. For example animals and plants have life, they do not have a mind which associates or relates them with fellow animals.
In deep sleep there is still life, but at that moment no relationship is existant. But once awake we need these relationships to live. These relationships are formed by our likes and dislikes. A child that is born does not know any relationships, as he grows he is introduced to his family. These relationships whether we like or dislike happen without our choice at birth.
We vary in our identity/roles based on our relationship with other people surrounding us. We can think of what Shakespeare said "All the worlds a stage, all the men and women are merely players, they have their exits and entrances. One man in his time plays many parts."
But none of these roles can characterize who we really are. The difficulties we face or the sadness we succumb to comes from reactions in these relationships and are not necessarily on account of our Karma. The realization one must have is that none of these relationships are Nityasambandham (eternal relationships) and perform our Dharma (Duty).
He gives a beautiful example. Consider a married man.
His duty is towards his wife and children. Which is to look after them and give a good education to his Children etc.. But if he thinks that he will make his son an engineer, that is where the problem is. Because this could result in a reaction that could lead to dissappointment if it did not happen.
You do not need to desert people and your relationships. You can live with all the people around you, but do so by remembering that your eternal relationship is but with God.
Somebody might come and say "Swamiji, there are so many problems in Kutumbum (family life). He says, there sure is, but that is what enriches our life. Who would you call an efficient driver.. One that is able to manouver in horrible traffic.. similarly in life. We have to realize that these problems are part of our role play, keep smiling and acting in the heart of such problems.
In Chapter 5 of the Bhagvad Gita, Shri Krishna says, when the problems in the universe do not affect our mind, then the one who lives in this Nine door body (Navadwara pure' dehi) will be in peace (Sukham) and not be responsible for any reactions. So to avoid reactions, one must learn to accept people as they are.
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